The heights

Okay well I am not quite there yet, but I am getting there.

I realized today, concretely, the power of communication. I spoke to my mother on the phone and I was able to say things, more things than I knew I had to say. I communicated things that, until the moment they left my lips were known only subconsciously. They had been there all along, but I had not so much as thought of them willingly. But they were there, and I found them, and vocalized them. I felt the words leaving my lips in a flurry and listened intently as idea after idea flowed into the phone and my mother's ear. I was enthralled at the idea that I was communicating on such a level that even my conscious mind considered it unconquered territory.

I have a better idea now of who I am and who I want to become. It is coming together in my mind piece by piece as each day passes. I want to become a shelter from the storm of humanity to the people I love. I want to become a warm blanket to shroud them from the frigidity of hatred. I want to become the sharp blade of a sword, threatening and still, to protect them from anger. I want to be a resource in the confusion of living. I want to be a source of joy in the otherwise sullen lives of my loved ones. I want to be a candle in the darkness of the soul, and to illuminate all those around me. I hope to be all of these things and more. I am willing to sacrifice, to shelter, to protect and calm, to enlighten and enrich, and to exalt each precious soul that has turned to me and will continue to turn to me in the search for love.

I can be all of these things,

and I will.