"Lean on me, when you're not strong,
I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on.
Because, it won't be long, till I'm gonna need
somebody to lean on."
"When the sun shines, we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella "
With the knowledge that I just posted lyrics not quite as poetic as they are catchy, I will proceed to explain my reason for this:
This weekend I got to thinking about love and strength. I believe that women in the U.S. are conditioned to believe that a man should step in and save them, and that this is the man they will marry. This is a theme prevalent in Western culture, reflecting the patriarchal values of societies in many countries. We look at Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, and Snow White as our guides. They are beautiful and privileged women (except for Cinderella, a testament to marrying up) who were saved by love. In these tales, the women are on the verge of destruction until a Prince Charming sweeps in to save the day. What is so strange, to me, about these stories is that the male counterparts of these ingenues sacrifice very little to save the ladies in peril, and always end up marrying them. Do we ask to be saved?
Sometimes I find myself falling into this feeling of codependency, and i wait to be swept away by love. I have been. There is a difference: while I have been saved by love, I have also done the saving. I know that there have been many instances in which I have been the heroine to my love, and I have sacrificed much in the meantime. In our sacrifices to each other we have found not only the allure of love, but a long-lasting relationship and respect. We save each other. There is no dominant partner here, only a realization that we need one another to survive in this cruel world. Because of the reciprocity of this claim, we have come to appreciate and respect one another, and on this is a true and equal relationship born.
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2 comments:
ok. this is awesome because i watched a knight's tale this weekend and was completely impressed by the plot. it's your traditional knight in shining armor story line, but the woman he is after is ridiculously strong. she demands more of him than wha the expects he'll have to give (i.e. winning the jousting competitions and simply being a knight). she wants him to want her. so she makes him prove himself by losing ... humbling himself ... not gaining public praise while still gaining the love he desires. hmm.
it bodes the question: if men would be gentlemen, would women be ladies?
Would we have to be?
Who wants to? haha.
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